June 21, 2023
I’m learning how to do things on my terms, in my own way. I’ve spent so many years twisting and contorting myself into everyone else’s vision of what they want me to be, that I lost my own way. My hope for these weeks that I have off of work, free from responsibility, is to find my way back to myself. To trust my own intution. To live with intention and in aligntment with my values. To be me, whatever that means in a given moment. I feel like I’m making progress and I’m grateful for it:
Starting my day with the same guided meditation I’ve been listening to for the last two months. A body scan. It feels like such a soul-filling way to start my day, it’s soothing and I get out of bed feeling awesome. I love it.
Having a great morning with D where I was not chasing her around reminding her of all the things she needed to do. She took care of her responsibilities. We didn’t argue. I was able to go-with-the-flow and no one was on a particular timeline, so I wasn’t stressed. It was a great way to start the day.
Canceling plans that weren’t feeling good. To much social activity wears me out. I’m learning how to be in tune with my energy levels so I can know when to lean in and say ‘yes’ to invitations and activities and when to say ‘no’ because I need recharge time. Right now, I feel the need for recharge time and I’m glad I honored that need.
Dinner date with a friend. I feel good when I shower, get dressed and put effort into getting myself together. We got in a walk, dinner, great conversation and time to connect. I got out of the house, spent time with someone I don’t see everyday and arrived home feeling content.
Yoga. Stretching my body, and making the time to prioritize it in the evening, feels so good before bedtime. I’m not rushing to get into bed at 9 because I don’t wake up at 5. I’m being realistic with myself - I wake up between 7 and 8 - and I can enjoy time to myself at night when I get a second wind. I may need to shift my timing when I start working again, but for now…this feels good.
