May 10, 2022
Dear Sweetpea,
Today, you woke up at 5:45am. The only thing I hate more than waking up, is waking up early, so I was irritated. I was probably grumpy with you, too, which is not fair. I’m sorry.
Once I finally dragged myself out of bed and up to make your breakfast, you were feeling sassy. I asked you what you wanted for breakfast, and you shouted, “I don’t want to think about it!” So, I decided to make you what I wanted: yogurt & banana. I chose the path of least prep and no dishes.
“I didn’t ask for this!”
“Right. You didn’t want to answer the question, so this is what I chose to make you,” I said.
“Mama, I wanted avocado toast!”
It’s so weird, the way you like avocado toast. Your diet consists mainly of chicken nuggets, tater tots, quesadillas, pizza and grilled cheese sandwiches. While not like totally exotic or anything, it’s still an unusual breakfast preference for a 6 year-old. It just requires more steps than what I am ready for at that stage in my morning. I have to get out a bowl and a knife and a cutting board. It requires some mixing and ingredients and seasoning. And you like it cut in half. You’re kind of a diva.
You wanted me to braid your hair today, which you never want. It’s fun for me, styling your hair. I always imagined myself doing that for my daughter, like Nana did for me. I always wore fun hairstyles as a kid and I kind of hope you do, too. I braided the sides back and tied them off. You put a new headband on. You’re so into clothes and style and expressing yourself. It’s so fun to watch you become who you’re meant to be. You went from this tiny little baby who scared the shit out of me every time you screamed after nursing to this super cool little person who challenges me to grow into a better version of myself everyday. I’ve learned more about love and acceptance in the six short years I’ve been your mom than I have in the entirety of my 38 years of life.
Right now, I’m sitting at the kitchen table - the one that’s more of your craft station, strewn about with glue sticks and marker and half-completed craft projects, than any kind of table anyone can dine at - writing this note to you. We had tacos for dinner because I’m unoriginal and Taco Tuesday seemed like a fun way to have a consistent dinner plan at least one night of the week. That, and it’s one of the few meals that we all like, so it makes for an easy time getting us all together to eat at the dinner table which I really like. I wish I was one of those parents who set the tone that every night is family dinner at the dinner table, where we all eat the same thing and no one eats food heated from the freezer, but that’s not who I am. We do it when we can and I’m grateful tonight was one of those nights.
Wita is visiting from Tennessee and tonight is her last night in California. I can hear you reading books to her. The more you learn to recognize words, the more you want to practice reading. It’s a joy to see you grow and change and learn new things. Over the last few months, I’ve loved seeing your interest in reading grow. Books and words are incredible, the way they can transport us to other worlds just by swirling around in our heads. I hope you grow to love words and reading and stories. It’s one of the ways I love you most, the way we share words and reading and stories.
It’s almost bedtime for the kid who wakes up with the sun and her mama, who loves to sleep.
Xo,
Mama
