To be seen
Mondays are not my jam.
I intended to wake up early, before my daughter, to have time to myself for coffee, to read, do a home workout…whatever I wanted. My alarm went off at 6 and turned to see I her asleep in the bed next to me. Our mornings are fraught enough already, and I worried that if I got up before her, she’d probably wake up angry and I’d spend most of my energy trying to come down from a flight-or-fight morning. And, to be honest, I wanted to pretend it wasn’t Monday morning.
So I lie there and sort of dozed until 7, when she finally woke up. I needed to make breakfast and pack her lunch so I need to get moving. She wanted me to help her get dressed, but I didn’t have time to go through outfits with her. She ended up getting angry, I ended up getting triggered and the morning was a flight-or-fight anyways. The sleeping in only made me feel more behind on my to-dos. The day started a bit bumpy and I had a few tools in my stress toolbox to help. I’m feeling grateful that I have new strategies to cope when life feels like too much:
Reiki and meditation always help me to come back to a chill baseline. I lie down, in my bed, run through a few positive affirmations and move my hands down through the chakras to help balance my energy. I feel cozy and supported and relaxed. It’s the best way to start my day.
A walk outside in the sun and fresh air. With my dog. I am never not amazed by how much my mood and attitude can shift from just taking a walk. Stepping away from whatever it is I am doing and moving my body helps me to get a fresh perspective. I always walk back in the door feeling refreshed. I love walks.
Emotional Freedom Tapping (EFT). This is new to me, my therapist taught me how to do it when I am feeling overwhelmed or triggered. I’m still getting used to it, but I needed to give it a try today. It helps and takes my mind off of whatever thoughts are ruminating through my mind.
Therapy. Monday is my therapy day. It started out fine enough, I verbal vomit all the things in my mind. Towards the end of the session, I realized that I felt my voice stifled as a kid…for whatever reason. I didn’t feel seen. That understanding felt like a heavy load to carry and also incredibly freeing to acknowledge and say out loud. I realize this is probably just the beginning of unpacking that part of my childhood, but acknowledgement is a start.
Beautiful weather. Time outside to read, sip my kombucha and unwind from the day. A healthy dinner at the table with my family. My husband putting my daughter to sleep so I could read a bit more. Quiet time to myself at night. And the commitment to get up earlier in the morning so I don’t repeat the same mistake of the day. I crawled into bed feeling open, hopeful, at peace.
Whatever it takes. Life is a rollercoaster and I’m so glad I have tips and tricks to turn to when I can’t cope. Being able to start again, in any moment, feels like a gift.
